Monday, March 7, 2011

the truth is.....

the past few days have been rough. I definitely have had more than a few breakdowns and have been feeling a lot of regret. Regret of so many things...including the breakdowns. Does every bride go through this? Second guessing the decisions? I guess I just can't help it. It has really only been one thing since I got over the shock of the gown and the speed at which I chose and purchased it. I have been over thinking my venue, to put it lightly. 
I always imagined my wedding to be outside, under a tent or in a barn or something like that. When we got engaged we looked into this type of place and were struggling to find something that met both of our expectations. Then my business took over my life (literally) and the wedding plans were put on hold. We only got back into it in February. I was definitely feeling pressure to do so, which is to be expected being that we got engaged in September and had not one thing planned by mid February.
So off we went one Saturday afternoon with my sister along for the day. How fantastic is she? Giving up an entire day with her hubby and babies to drive around the metro area looking at venues. Not exactly anyone's idea of fun. But she did it and I am so thankful. We looking at four places that day and on the last stop we fell in love. The room was beautiful, different, bright and simple. It had a rustic elegance and a menu we liked. They even have farm behind the restaurant where they grow most of the food they serve at the events. Fresh and local food with a warm modern design.....that's right up my ally. So after speaking with the host we thought this could be the place. At this point we were thinking the wedding would be either in the winter or spring of 2012, typical.....a full year to plan, the way most normal people plan for an event like this. Then she dropped the bomb....she had a cancellation, May 28 just a week over 3 months away. My first thought was no way. I am a rational person and have seen some of my friends and family plan for a wedding, this was nothing I wanted to do in 3 months.
Homeward bound and lots of talk about the venue and options. The 28th date was now on the table, up for discussion. My sis was excited about it and thought it would be a great idea so was my fiance. I was still hesitant, worried. The discussion was brought up to lots of other women and family members who all seemed to be really excited about it. Was everyone onto something here? Was I just letting my worries get the best of me? Could this really be the way to go? Just intense stress in a short amount of time rather than even levels over a longer period of time? Hmmmmmm......
After a few days of thinking it over, the decision was made. YES. Lets go for it. Plan a wedding in 3 short months. Why wait?
So with that being said, you are probably wondering why on earth I now would be freaking out about the venue, seeming that is was perfect when we saw it. Well.......a few days before we saw that place I began looking again at all the magazines and sites searching for some places. I had kinda given up on the tent thing and the barns I was finding in the area were super expensive.  I did however find one place, but when we called the woman who does the events there, she was not available.  We were told she would return our call. She never did. So now I am haunted by the curiosity of that spot. There are things about that place that I really liked! I just can't stop thinking about it. Is this a case of the grass being greener, even though my grass is very green over here. Ugh - I am my own worst enemy!!!!!
Where did this all stem from?? The invitations. How weird. I never in a million years would have thought that the invitations would be the cause of so many emotions, but I think what they are doing is forcing me to think about the overall feel and tone of the wedding and that has brought out all of the craziness. I have to focus and focusing forces you to edit out things that just don't fit. It took a while for me to let go of those things I guess.

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